The Nation’s Oldest Newspaper™ • Editor: Steven Fowle • Founded 1756 by Daniel Fowle
Distributed for free by people just like you.
This map shows where you can get the latest copy of the Gazette
You can be part of our unique distribution system
It’s a free country. If people want to believe they’ve been born again, who are we to judge? But this business of having a third of the country acting, day after day, like they were born yesterday, is really starting to take a toll. Common sense would seem to tell us that the base of for the current regime is bound to collapse at some point. Paradoxically, the regime itself seems bent on hastening that process by showing that it’s not to be trusted. As the fortnight was getting under way, Don Junior—why does writing that name give us the feeling that we’re trapped in some post-modern remix of “The Godfather” and “The Sopranos”?—proudly announced that he’s selling hips to The Executive Branch for half a million simoleons a pop. He was not, let us be clear, offering government positions for a fee. Even the President’s first-born knows that would be illegal. At least, we’ll give him the benefit of the doubt on that… Grand Theft America
First they came for the undocumented immigrants,and I did not speak out because I was happy to get rid of them. Then they came for the foreign students,and I did not speak out because they were foreign. Then they came for the green card holders,and I did not speak out because they were taking Americans’ jobs. Then they came for the Muslims,and I did not speak out because they weren’t Christians. Then they came for the judges who ruled against them,and I did not speak out because judges are usually way too liberal. Then they came for the unions,and I started to get a little nervous. Then they decided that my job was an unnecessary waste of money,and they fired me. Then they took away… MAGAVoter’s Lament (a pipe dream)
Page 8
2012—A mentally-unstable PNSY employee sets a fire that destroys the billion-dollar USS Miami. 1999—Wrestler Owen Hart drops 78 feet to his death in the ring; 15 minutes later, the show… 2022—Southern Baptists reveal their leaders have been conspiring for years to protect hundreds of sex abs. 2004—Portsmouth’s Leftist Marching Band debuts in Market Square. 1980—Jimmy Carter gives South Korean dictator… 2016—In Houston, hundreds rally to Islam. Hundreds more rally, armed, to oppose it. Both sides have been duped by a Russian troll farm. 2001—GAO refutes the GOP: Dems did… 2009—The FBI entraps four Muslim men in a bogus Bronx bomb plot. 2004—U.S. and Iraqi troops raid the home and offices of Ahmed Chalabi, formerly the neo-cons’ most trusted source… Fri, May 23
Thurs, May 22
Wed, May 21
Tues, May 20
by W.D. Ehrhart Here is a poem from Palestinian poet Mosab abu Toha’s newest book, Forest of Noise (Knopf, 2024): Ramadan 2025 Around that dinner table, missing are the chairs where my mother, my father, and my little sister used to sit with us on… “If a Tree Falls in the Forest”
[Ms. Aiken neglected to include a salutation. – the Ed., deeply hurt by this rudeness.] On April 16, 2024 the Union Leader published an important op-ed by Rep. Len Turcotte of Strafford County. [The headline: “Accessory Dwelling Unit is a deceptive term for ‘rental unit’”.]… The Cultural Revolution Comes to N.H.
–=≈=– Another fortnight, another eight pages of relatively uninhibited news. Thousands of copies are now available at scores of locations throughout the watershed of the Piscataqua, New England’s gnarliest river. For optimum reading satisfaction, we recommend the newsprint version. Unfortunately, for the vast majority of humans, that option is not feasible. For the next best thing, click on this link right here and check out the .pdf. Volume 269, No. 18
A newspaper, a third cousin five times removed,
a freelance insurgency. Watch the video.
The New Hampshire Gazette’s resident starving artist. Over 20 years of political satire, some whimsical and some occasionally irreverent.
“Thanks again, as always, for making the now really bad news somewhat easier to tolerate. The truth, which is now seldom spoken, and never spoken by our nation’s “Liar in Chief,” just keeps getting worse and worse. I am thankful for our still (for now, anyway) free press and late night television comedians’ rants posted on Youtube about the state of our country.”
— E.S., Dover, N.H.
Portsmouth, arguably the first town in this country not founded by religious extremists, is bounded on the north and east by the Piscataqua River, the second, third, or fourth fastest-flowing navigable river in the country…read more.